


On That Day The Door Opens Let's Meet Again

by iwannabe_kibum



Category: NCT (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Kim Jonghyun, Mentions of Suicide, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwannabe_kibum/pseuds/iwannabe_kibum
Summary: Taemin is worried about Taeyong's wellbeing, scared to risk history repeating itself.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin, Lee Taemin & Lee Taeyong
Comments: 12
Kudos: 168





	On That Day The Door Opens Let's Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while being a little concerned about Taeyong's wellbeing myself, just something I had been thinking about. I wasn't sure if I'd ever post but with the way he seems to be doing better recently, I was able to pretty easily give it a happy, arguably a little cheesy ending and figured why not. This is entirely unbetaed, kind of just something I spewed into a google doc until I was finished.
> 
> Title is from a song Taeyong had posted about, Youth by Dasutt.
> 
> * 10/04 Update - I went back and changed a few details, mainly typos/grammatical issues and rewording the ending because I wasn't satisfied. Hopefully this is better lol

Taemin had spent half of the night staring at Taeyong. He recognizes that. 

It had been a rare night after a dance practice preparing for their next live performance that they hadn’t had a schedule following it in the evening, with no schedule for the next day until an afternoon live they were doing; so when Baekhyun had offered to treat them all to dinner Taemin wasn’t about to turn down free food. Jongin had hesitated, but acquiesced after watching Taemin pout at him for a moment. Mark and Lucas had accepted the invitation immediately, thoughts of the deliciousness that could occupy their stomachs shortly making it an automatic yes. Ten had frowned, explaining that he had made plans with Winwin already, having known the break in schedule, but told them eagerly that the rest of them should go without him, and have fun. 

Eyes had turned to Taeyong, who was standing towards the back of their group that had shifted towards where Baekhyun had stood. Mark and Lucas had now launched into a debate about where they should all go, Baekhyun whining when a place they named was deemed overly expensive. He had just shrugged, mouth set in a small frown, eyes directed towards the floor. 

“I don’t know—I think I may just head back to the dorms too.. I’m pretty tired.” 

Taemin studied his expression carefully, mouth tightening in concern. "Oh, come on, let hyung take you out to dinner. Are they even feeding you guys over there?” Baekhyun teased, gesturing at the younger man. 

Taeyong had let out a dry chuckle at that, nodding. 

“Well, then when’s the last time you had a real, nice dinner?” 

Taeyong had taken a beat to consider, lips starting to turn up at the corners, before he sighed, mouth turning down again. Before he could even release the oncoming negative response he was interrupted by Jongin reaching back to throw an arm over his shoulders, giving a short squeeze. “We promise not to keep you out too late.” 

He glanced around, eyes meeting with Lucas’s, who looked almost impatient as he waited for the confirmation that they could leave and make their way to wherever they were going, always thinking with his stomach. 

“Okay, sure” He looked up to meet Jongin’s encouraging stare, a smile forming as he looked around the group, nodding. “So where are we going?” 

\--

They had succeeded in getting Taeyong out with them, but he was struggling to keep himself present in the conversation, going quiet and looking at his plate as he pushed the food around it. Taemin sat beside him, and would glance over, laying his hand over Taeyong’s to give it a soft squeeze, or a brief hand on his knee each time he noticed, a calm smile meeting his eyes as he looked up. He pressed his lips into a small smile in response, and would sometimes even take that as a cue to interject into the conversation bouncing around the table, but would return to his solemn quiet later, once the conversation had moved again. 

One of the times that Taeyong had looked up after a fleeting touch to his forearm, Taemin had paired his smile with a quiet, “You did good today. Are you doing okay? Still sore?” 

Mark and Taeyong had groaned coming into practice a few weeks prior, telling the group about how they had already been so exhausted after filming things for the NCT comeback, that once they had finally wrapped filming on the One music video they had laid in bed for virtually the entirety of the next two days recovering. Taemin had found the filming somewhat exhausting himself, pairing his preparations for his own comeback at the same time, though his schedule had not been packed nearly as tight as the boys’ were those few weeks. Lucas and Ten had groaned in agreement, not having found the same physical impact but knowing how hectic things had been for the four of them. 

Taeyong hadn’t complained or said anything else about pain since then, but recently Taemin had noticed the way his face went tight when he had gone to sit and then stand up, knew from experience that something in his back must be twinging—maybe a pulled muscle, something that unfortunately didn’t offer much of a solution outside of grin and bearing it while you wait it out for a day or two. It had been about five days since then, that feeling should have been long gone by now, but Taemin could still see the tension in his eyes when he reached across a table for something, or he moved a certain way while practicing the choreo. He wasn't giving himself the opportunity to rest it, which worried Taemin further.

Taeyong had responded with a grateful smile, shaking his head slightly. “I’m okay, really.” Taemin knew he was pushing it at the line of over-attentive, confirmed by the question in Jongin’s stare when their eyes had met. Taemin had just shifted in response, angled a bit more towards the rest of the table and responding to a quip Bakehyun had just muttered to Mark beside him, who had crowed in response, hand lightly hitting the table as he laughed. 

Taemin hadn’t made any further moves in regards to Taeyong, aside from making sure he turned with full attention when he did inject a response into the conversation, a joke landing perfectly as the whole table laughed with him, save for Baekhyun who playfully grumbled at the friendly swipe Taeyong had just sent at him. 

\--

The dinner had ended unceremoniously, a third bottle of sujo finished between the table, a very light buzz occupying the table. The only exceptions being Baekhyun and Lucas, the former’s flushed face and the latter's laugh even louder than normal—to the point that Jongin glanced around the restaurant upon hearing it, worried they were potentially being obnoxiously loud, before chuckling himself when he found it appear to have not had any impact on their surrounding environment—indicated that the two of them were perhaps a touch more indulged than the others, but it was Bakehyun's bill and he hadn't driven his own car there so who was Taemin to judge. He himself had only had half a glass, Jongin about the same, the pair of them never having found much of a taste for it. Don't get him wrong, Taemin could throw sake back like it was nobody’s business, but soju just left an aftertaste that he didn’t care for. 

The group made their way out onto the street, calling for their respective cars to be pulled around. Mark had asked Lucas and Taeyong if they wanted to go somewhere else, stretch the night out a bit more before heading back. Lucas had eagerly agreed, eyes wide and smile big as Mark spoke to their manager, seeking confirmation. Taeyong had grimaced, hand rising to the back of his neck, telling the younger boy what he knew he didn’t want to hear, that he really just _had_ to go back, eyes weighed by heavy bags underneath them that would require a significant amount of concealer to fix tomorrow clearly showing his exhaustion. Mark had immediately nodded, concern flickering behind his eyes as he assured his hyung that he understood, and that maybe him and Lucas should take his advice and turn in early. The briefest look of disappointment flashed on Lucas’s face before he collected himself, agreeing that it was up to the eldest. Taeyong sighed, guilt washing over him as he realized he had draped a wet blanket over their plans. 

Before Taeyong could say anything else, Taemin had interjected, half listening from where he stood a few feet away waiting for Jongin to pull up with his car. 

“Taeyong-ah, if you wanted we could give you a ride to the dorms? Mark, you and Lucas can go ahead and Jongin-ah and I will get Taeyongie home safe.” 

Taeyong had opened his mouth to decline, to assure his hyung that he didn’t want to impose, but the spark in Mark’s eyes at the suggestion stopped him in his tracks. The NCT dorms _were_ in the direction of Taemin-hyung’s apartment building, the ride would barely take them off the course they would have normally taken to get there, so he supposed it wasn’t actually _that_ much of an imposition, and the way Mark and Lucas had their eyes trained on his face made him realize how disappointed they would actually be if Taeyong had dragged them all home, no matter how much they would assure him that they weren’t. It wasn’t fair of him to do that to them. So he nodded instead, making eye contact with Taemin and shooting him another brief grateful smile.

“That would be great, hyung. Thanks.” 

He turned to face the two younger boys, smile still present. “You guys have fun.” 

Mark and Lucas had both broken out into grins, high-fiving as they turned back to manager-hyung and hurried toward the car waiting for them. 

Jongin had just pulled around, Taemin gently grabbing the sleeve of Taeyong’s jacket and leading him to the car. Taemin opened the passenger door, ducking in to report, “We have an extra passenger tonight,” with a smile, gesturing for Taeyong to open the rear door and get in. Jongin had raised an eyebrow, but with an easy smile on his face and he glanced at Taeyong climbing in. 

“Am I just a glorified taxi service to you?” he quipped to Taemin as he buckled his seatbelt, Taeyong cringing a bit at the comment. He was being an imposition after all. Shame began slowly washing over him, the tips of his ears going a bit red as he worried his lower lip between his front teeth. 

Taemin reached across the console to smack the arm he had stretched out, hand on the steering wheel. Jongin glanced over his shoulder, having expected a laugh and some form of equivalent tease sent back at him from the younger man, his brow scrunching a bit as he noticed the solemn expression on Taeyong’s face. 

“Ah, Taeyongie, it was just a joke! It’s really no problem, you can always ask for a ride if you ever need.” 

Taeyong’s expression didn’t soften much as he quietly offered, “Of course, hyung, thank you.” 

After a few beats of silence Taemin made a general comment on the quality of the food, hoping to poke the stokes of an actual conversation. Jongin nodded while Taeyong hummed politely in agreement, eyes focused on staring out the window at the passing streetlights. 

“So,” Taemin started, after a few more beats of silence, glancing at what part of Taeyong’s reflection he could see through the rearview mirror as he spoke, “how are the NCT preparations going? Are they still packing your schedules?” 

Taeyong’s gaze had shifted to back inside the car, looking up towards the back of Taemin’s seat as he nodded, a tired smile on his face. 

“Yeah, it’s still kind of crazy. I almost don’t mind it some of the time, though, it kind of feels good to have such a hard regimen, gives you a chance to go a little mindless, you know?” 

Taemin knew what he meant, anyone who’s been in the industry more than a couple of years knew exactly how that went, how it could be almost a blessing of not being given the opportunity to overthink. Nodding, he hedged more, “They are giving you enough time to rest though, right? They’re not _completely_ overworking you guys?” 

The seriousness of his worry bleeding onto his face giving him away where he had tried to keep his tone light and joking. Jongin glanced at him as he spoke, one eyebrow raised in question again, but otherwise kept his gaze on the road ahead as he made a turn. 

“Yah, Taemin-ah, leave him alone. You know what it’s like” he commented, tone light. 

Taeyong let out a quiet laugh, agreeing with him. They all knew how the company could really work them into the ground, especially as a member of multiple groups making comebacks in the same span of time. It usually never lasted insanely long, giving the idols a decent amount of easier cooldown soon enough. But with SuperM’s preparations only just wrapping up as NCT’s were already beginning, those lax gift days were simply more of a slightly quieter schedule, not nearly as relaxing as they would normally be given. And it, maybe, was running Taeyong a little ragged, if he were to allow himself to admit it. Mark and Lucas and Ten hadn’t seemed to be taking it quite as hard as it’s been for Taeyong, with him carrying the added weight of leading their group through the production of this intense comeback. Taeyong had truthfully found himself lying awake at night, wrestling with his thoughts, wishing he could just stop thinking about it all. He just wanted to turn it all off, not carry around the pain that had started to accumulate. He needed time. He wished he could just pause, stop the world around him so he could catch his breath and carry on. But he couldn’t let his juniors down, he had to remain a strong front as their leader while they prepared for their biggest comeback yet. So he carried it, held it all with him, cried when he was alone to shed some of that pressure, hoped it would dissipate on its own over time.

Jongin had just pulled up in-front of the dorm building, the car rolling to a stop as close to the front as he could get from the street. Taeyong had begun unbuckling his seatbelt as he started his string of thanks for his hyungs, when Taemin suddenly shifted, turning around in his seat to look Taeyong straight on as much as he could, eyes a bit wide. 

“You can talk to us, you know?” he started, a bit louder and more rushed as he had intended. 

“Any of us, we’re all here for you. _All_ of you,” He added quickly, trying to shift some of the emphasis off of Taeyong to avoid making him any more uncomfortable. Jongin nodded easily, looking over his shoulder at Taeyong with a gentle smile. Taeyong glanced between the two of them before returning the smile, nodding genuinely.

“I know. Thanks, hyungs.” He reached out to quickly squeeze Taemin’s shoulder in front of him gently before climbing out of the car, waving as he shut the car door before turning around and making his way to the door. 

The car had remained parked as Taemin kept his eyes trained until he could see Taeyong entering the building, disappearing out of sight safely inside. When he had been fully enveloped by the doors, Taemin had turned back to face forward properly, satisfied. It took a few moments before he realized that the car still wasn’t moving. He looked up to Jongin in confusion, about to ask what he was waiting for, to whine about how he was tired and wanted to get home, but he found Jongin’s large dark eyes trained on him, squinted, with his mouth set in a firm line. 

“What?” he questioned, pulling back a little to glance around, away from Jongin’s questioning stare. 

“What’s going on?” 

Taemin’s eyebrows scrunched, his face pulling up into a questioning look.

“Nothing? What do you mean? Is there something that should be going on?” 

Jongin’s eyes remained trained on his face, not budging despite Taemin’s avoidance. “You’ve been weird all night.”

“ _You’ve_ been weird,” the retort came instinctively, an automatic reflex whenever he received comments like that, perhaps something he should have let go of in his youth. 

Jongin sighed, shaking his head lightly, looking away as he shifted gears, finally moving the car. “Don’t do that, you know what I mean.” 

“I really don’t!” Taemin tried, having an idea what Jongin was trying to ask, but set on not acknowledging it directly until he absolutely had to. 

“Why have you been all over Taeyong lately? Tonight, in particular.. what’s going on?” 

Taemin could see in his peripheral as Jongin glanced at him as he drove, keeping his own eyes glued in front of him. He remained silent for a few moments, eventually tilting his head with a small shrug, just mumbling, “I’m just trying to be a good hyung..” 

And that was true. Taemin had been trying hard ever since the group had first begun interacting as SuperM to be a good hyung to the dongsaengs. No matter how much he teased, or complained, or jokingly denied, Taemin knew he was blessed with the amount of love and support he received from his hyungs, how well they had cared for him over the years. It’s only fair for him to continue the chain, to pass down that compassion and encouragement to younger members, now that he was not the Perpetual Maknae he had been seen as prior to SuperM’s debut. Jongin knew this, but also knew that it had gone past that general point of wanting to be a good influence.

Taemin seemed intent on not elaborating further, so Jongin instead tried, “Is this about what we were talking about last week? You’re worried about their burn out? Taemin-ah, we’ve both been there. It’s hard but it's a part of the job, they’ll be okay,” he assured him, reaching over to hold Taemin’s hand where it laid in his lap. He smoothed his thumb over his knuckles, bringing their hands to his lips as he pressed a soft kiss on the outside of Taemin’s, the sweet gesture releasing some of the pressure that had been settling in Taemin’s shoulders without him even realizing. 

“Yeah,” Taemin sighed. “You’re right.” He squeezed Jongin’s hand, having settled it back in his lap. 

Comfortable silence passed as they drove the short remainder of the way to his place. Parked in the garage of the building, the pair made their way to the elevators, Taemin punching in the code. Unlocking Taemin’s front door, Jongin led the way, toeing out of his shoes near the entrance, beginning to pull his jacket off to lay it over the back of the couch before collapsing onto it. Taemin beat him to the punch though, flopping onto the sofa, coat on, sprawling out as he stretched. Jongin rolled his eyes, huffing in protest as he pushed his leg where it was laying over what should be his side. Taemin lets it happen, settling his leg back on Jongin’s lap once he’s seated, eyes closing as he lays his head on the arm of the sofa. Resting his hands comfortably on Taemin’s calf, Jongin settled back into the couch, letting his head drop to the back, closing his eyes with a content sigh. It wasn’t clear to Taemin how tired he’d been until the moment he sat down, suddenly aware of his own dull aches. Jongin rubbed small circles onto Taemin’s calves as they sat in silence together, taking a moment before they knew they’d have to really stand, change and wash up, and eventually actually get into bed. 

Breaking the silence, Jongin lets his head turn to Taemin’s direction, cracking his eyes open and asks, “Seriously, are you okay?” 

Taemin just sighs in response, unmoving otherwise. 

“Come on, what’s got you so worked up? What’s wrong with Taeyong?”

Opening his eyes, Taemin’s face scrunches up, looking at the opposite wall of the room instead of meeting Jongin’s mildly worried gaze. 

“Nothing’s wrong, you heard him. I’m—I’m overreacting, I know.” 

“You’re that worried?” He feels Taemin stiffen a bit under his palms, and the concern in his face grows. 

“I don’t know... I just—something’s not right. Something.....” He trails off, his face pinched as his thoughts continue. “Did you hear what Lucas said, when we were on break last week?” He starts instead, abandoning his initial thought. 

Jongin thought back, wracked his brain for some sort of red flag that could’ve come out of Lucas’s mouth. Nothing was registering, just memories of his typical bad jokes and playful comments. Taemin and Jongin sometimes didn’t sit that close to where the younger half of the group tended to gather on breaks, usually enjoying some quiet, until Baekhyun finds room to slip in a joke, or something else to fill the space and it devolves into banter between them. He couldn’t remember anything significant that was said about Taeyong, even once he expanded his memory outside of Lucas. Whatever it was Taemin was thinking of, he must have missed it. Which was a bit weird, because frankly both of them could be a little late to catch on to things, but typically, if anything Jongin caught on a bit faster. Whatever it was, it must have been important to him. He shook his head eventually, his worried stare returning to Taemin’s face. 

Staring at his hands in his lap, Taemin supplied, “He said that Taeyong had _cried_ when one of the managers told him he _seemed tired_ because he was working so hard.”

It had obviously been said lightly, teasingly, and Taeyong had probably even laughed himself, but it registered with Taemin. Jongin’s brows furrowed for what felt like the umpteenth time that night, still not able to wrap his mind around what exactly had Taemin _so_ bothered. The story was a little sad, he guessed, in a sort of sweet way though. Taeyong was a sensitive guy, easily moved by kindness, and Jongin had seen him with watery eyes a few times—though he had only seen him worked up beyond that once, when rumors had been swirling, and he had excused himself from a conversation, Mark hurriedly joining him. The two had returned a bit later, Taeyong looking more composed, and had carried on the rest of the day as though nothing had happened. Jongin could sympathize, he himself wasn’t the type of guy who was afraid to cry, and he knew the kind of weight that could overtake you when the press gets going with something. 

Still struggling, Jongin tried, “So… you’re worried, because he cried? At some point?” He wasn’t patronizing him, just trying to understand where Taemin was coming from. 

“No. I.. well—the implication was that it happens often. You must have heard some of the things he’s said, the things he’s admitted he’s struggled with.” 

Taemin was unlike him, he was the type who never let himself cry unless he was alone—or with Jongin—or someone he was intensely close to, with very few and rare exceptions, and typically only when he was truly, deeply upset. Was he just struggling to recognize that tears didn’t have to mean the world was ending? Taeyong had indeed admitted to some internal struggles, but truthfully Jongin respected him more for it, and felt that he seemed to maintain a bright enough outlook on it. Definitely always encouraging those he was speaking to—be it friends or fans—to see it that way. 

“Nevermind, you’re right. I’m being stupid.” Taemin’s calf tightened under his palms as he withdrew his leg from his lap, pulling it up instead to sit up a bit higher, knees to his chest, arms looping around them. 

“Hey, Taemin-ah, I didn’t say—“ 

Taemin shifted, feet sliding off the couch, landing on the floor mutely, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hanging his head. 

Jongin immediately shifted in return, angling towards him as a hand came up to rub strongly at Taemin’s shoulder, moving to his neck, rubbing comfortingly at the muscles there, his other hand coming up to gently squeeze his forearm. Working his hand across his back, waiting for Taemin to speak, it’s a miniscule motion that alerts him. A single twinge of his back, that Jongin only even noticed because he’s already so familiar with it, and he realizes. 

Taemin is crying. Or—not exactly crying. He’s doing that thing he does before he cries, where he holds out for as long as he can, tensing up as he fights to keep everything contained. 

“Taeminnie,” Jongin whispers, bending down to try to catch a better look at his face. “Taeminnie, what’s wrong?” He pauses, waits, and is met with silence. “Please talk to me, please” Jongin pleads, pressing kisses to Taemin’s shoulder, his hand moving up to gently card through Taemin’s hair, pushing the strands he can reach back from his face, still trying to get him to look at him. 

“He scares me.” Taemin hisses, teeth clenched in determination. He can’t do this, can’t when he’s the one literally talking about being alarmed by the exact thing he’s on the verge of doing. But it’s different. But it’s not. 

Jongin’s expression softens, still pressing gentle kisses along Taemin’s shoulder. “What do you mean?” 

“He scares me, Jonginnie. He—it… this.... It feels familiar.” Taemin whispers, his eyes still screwed shut tight as he tries to breathe through it. 

“What…” Jongin begins, before stopping. A sharp exhale emerges as he starts to follow where he thinks Taemin’s thoughts may be. 

“Taemin-ah…. You don’t..” 

“I don’t know.” Taemin breathes, finally leaning into Jongin’s touch, his head still looking down at the floor. 

“Taeminnie… it’s not. This isn’t like…” He tries, but can’t find the words he wants to use. He knows what Taemin’s thinking, knows why he’s been so intense. Swallowing, he understands. He shifts back for a moment, only to bring his leg up and wrap it behind where Taemin’s perched near the edge of the couch, scooting in and wrapping his arms around both of his shoulders, fully enveloping him in his embrace. 

“This isn’t like that.” he tries, quietly, almost whispered where his lips have come up to press against Taemin’s temple. 

“How do you know?” Taemin demands, hushed. 

“I… I guess I don’t,” Jongin concedes, tightening his grip on Taemin’s shoulder, pulling him in tighter. “But Taeminnie.. I don’t think.. I mean, Taeyong knows.. He knows he’s supported.” Taeyong had been quieter, sure. Definitely down, understandably so, especially without being given the space he deserved to handle his emotions properly with SuperM promotion still in full swing. But he didn’t—he couldn’t..

He felt Taemin give a small shake of his head, not moving enough to shift his arms from where they are around him. “I can see it, he thinks _he_ has to be the pillar. He’s the one that needs to offer support. They just threw twenty-two members at him, that’s a lot of pressure. I know you’ve seen how he talks about his members, how Mark and Lucas talk about him. He gives, and gives, and puts himself last. He somehow has still not learned to not read the comments, he just cares _so_ much about what people think of him. And then his dog.. He was so heartbroken, he sounded so.... I’m not crazy, I can see it. I _see_ him. I can’t just do nothing.” Taemin’s voice gets louder as he speaks, no longer whispering, his tone tense and adamant, nearly pleading as he finally meets Jongin’s eyes. 

Jongin sighs, unsure of what to say. 

He knew this must have been brewing for a while for Taemin to be so disturbed. Of course any reminder of Jonghyun, any sudden memory of what had happened hurt, but over the years Taemin had slowly adjusted to dealing with it. He had moments where things came suddenly flooding, those moments typically ending one of two ways, at least if Jongin is there. Either Jongin holds him through it, until he stills and they are able to get up, or fall asleep, Taemin’s choice; or Taemin manages to inject some humor as he’s crashing, some comforting twist on whatever it is, and is able to work it up to a laugh, typically losing himself in it, wheezing at some hilarious, or stupid, or stupidly hilarious moment from years ago—and Jongin gets to laugh with him, gets to feel his heart clench, a mix of pride and worry, knowing Taemin was working through his pain. 

Jongin remembers that first year though—notably the first couple of months between the funeral and Shinee’s comeback, where the members all went to therapy twice a week, the company urging them to go for as long as they’d like, a rare exception to a pretty standard industry displeasure at the thought of counseling. For the first few weeks in particular, Jongin drove Taemin to most of his sessions, waited in the car nearby, then drove him back home. A lot of those car rides were silent, a lot of their time together overall spent in silence. He spent most nights at Taemin’s, more than their already frequent rate. Jongin would sit patiently, never pushing. He’d hold him when Taemin would let him, would lay his weight over Taemin’s limbs while they were in bed to stop him from shaking; would rock him as they swayed on the couch, a movie playing low on the tv. 

He can’t imagine what Taemin’s felt, watching everything the past few weeks, feeling like he was watching history repeat itself. He just wishes he’d have come to him sooner. Jongin loosens his grip so he can rub his hands down Taemin’s arms, down his back, and then back along his shoulders

“If you’re this upset, why don’t we talk to someone? His manager, or our manager, or Baekhyun-hyung, even..” 

“I don't want to.. I don’t know, embarrass him?” he admits quietly, “Or.. even, embarrass myself if it turns out I’m wrong and just being dramatic?” 

“I think…” He considered his words carefully. “The only thing we _can_ do is talk about it. Make sure he knows he’s cared for, make sure that things don’t shift to something concerning. Isn’t that the point—not letting it be some dark corner that someone feels backed into?” 

His gaze softens as he looks into Jongin’s eyes, pressing his lips into a line for a moment before nodding, slowly. 

“Yeah…” He finally begins to relax in his hold, and Jongin lifts a hand to cup Taemin’s cheek gently, Taemin turning his face slightly to kiss Jongin's palm, his own hand coming up to settle on top of Jongin’s softly. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, Jongin’s hand on his face pressing closer just a bit. When Taemin pulls back, he keeps their foreheads pressed together, letting his breathing slow. After a few moments he shifts a bit out of his embrace, pushing at Jongin’s leg weekly, and Jongin obliges, retracting his leg from the spot against the back of the couch, settling down seated next to Taemin, his arm still coming up to rest gently around the other man’s shoulders. Taemin leaned into the touch, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder for a moment as he entwined his finger’s with Jongin’s free hand. 

Just as he begins to relax, suddenly so tired, eyes almost slipping closed again, Taemin groans, straightening up before pushing himself to his feet. Jongin almost whines at the loss of body heat but Taemin’s already grabbing with his free hand at Jongin’s arm above where their hands are intertwined, hauling him up off the couch with him. Jongin glares at him, on the verge of downright pouting, and Taemin resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Come on, we should get ready for bed. I'm not falling asleep on this couch again, you know how badly that fucked up my back last time.” 

_Bed_ , is all Jongin hears, so he is immediately on board. 

If Taemin presses a little closer than normal—they both run hot so they tend to keep a small distance between them as they sleep—then Jongin doesn’t mind. 

\--

The next few weeks follow a semi-casual conversation with Bakehyun—who, to his immense credit, responds like a true leader, receptive and understanding, gentle with his approach both to Taemin and Taeyong—and involve Taemin keeping a close eye on the younger man, but keeping himself restrained, careful to not badger him or make him uncomfortable. All together, they just work to make sure Taeyong, and truthfully _all_ of the dongsaengs know they have as much support as they could need, that their hyungs have their backs endlessly. They work to keep Taeyong smiling when possible, the real one that splits his whole face, all teeth and laughter. 

Taeyong writes about healing, about finding peace and comfort. His face starts to stay brighter, they find him cackling again with Mark and Lucas and Ten, one time he even makes Mark snort some of his soda through his nose, and by the time they start to calm down they’re all breathless, Taeyong holding his chest as he tries to stop his wheezing laughter long enough to relax. 

The sight of Taeyongs smile in interviews and his casual banter with the members, makes Taemin’s chest feel warm, almost. Taeyong resumes the way he drapes himself along members at times, lets his hands go to someone's knee as they laugh, squeezes their hand with a smile or a chuckle.

Taemin was glad Jongin had prompted him to address it, instead of letting his fear and dread build. Sometimes he almost forgets that he doesn't have to deal with these emotions alone. Ironic, right?

He realizes they should address it. If Taeyong struggles again—if _any_ of them struggle badly, that's the only way they’ll be able to handle it. The answer will never be simple but it doesn’t have to be so hard. 

It feels like something’s let go of Taemin’s ribcage, like he can now breathe easier somehow, like he’s lost a weight he hadn’t entirely realized was there.


End file.
